This is really directed to lady dancers.  I have a question for you: Have you ever tried dancing as a man?  I have, and it is always an enlightening experience.  Let me tell you a few things I have learned about "being a man":

1.  Some women are deternined that are not going where the man leads them; in other words, they are fighting the lead.  This is quite frustrating

     to men since pointing it out to women results in somewhat of an arguement.

2.  It is hard, if not impossible, to think about which figures to do next when you are also thinking about the rhythm, leading, and avoiding          

    collisions.  That is why many times the man do the same step over and over; he is trying to remember what else he knows.

3.  Women (unknowingly) allow their left arms to completely rest on the man's right arm, and that is very uncomfortable for the man.  Women

     also may fail to hold up their right arm, allowing thge man to do it for them and this is also very uncomfortable.

4.  Man who do not feel confident may not ask ladies they consider advances to dance with them because they feel those ladies are too good

    for them.

 

There are many more things I have learned about "being a man", but space does not allow me to list them all.  So what is your point, you might ask.  Just this.  If you want to dance more and you perceive the problem to be a lack of male dancers, then let's not discourage the male dancers we DO have!  Especially if you are an advanced lady, get up and ask the beginner man to dance.  You will become a better lead-reader if yo do it frequently.  If he asks for yor help, give it.  NEVER complain that the has done the same step 15 times in a row.  He knows it and he is trying his best to move on.  Do not assume you know what he is leading.  Go where he puts you.  He will learn how to correct his lead and you will be doing what you are supposed to be doing-"reading the lead".  Look around you.  Is there a shortage of men at the dance?  Are there too many ladies sitting around?  Do you know at least the basic of the dnce being played?  Then get up and ask the lady to dance.  You will learn a whole lot by doing that.  You will become a better dancer as a lady, and you will become more attuned to what our men have to go through.  And above all ladies, don't try to "fix" something they are doing wrong unless it is the actual step itself.  If they have a instructor, more than likely that instructor knows about the problem but is waiting to fix it when he is more proficient with his steps or rhythm.  Learning to dance is like eating a huge meal; You HAVE to take it one bite at a time to absorb it all.

 

When you are at a dance that is supposed to be fun and you start pointing out his flaws, his fun quickly ceases and he is less willing to get up and dance.  As a teacher at a dance, I will only teach if I am asked to by the student with whom I am dancing.  After all, ladies, every one of us got involved with dancing because it was FUN.  But remember, it takes longer for it to be fun  for the men because they have to learn so much to even step on the floor, and they will not keep it up for long if it seems like all they get is criticism.  Just a word to the wise from a woman who has frequently "been a man"!!!

 

© 2000 by Patricia Howard- All Rights Reserved